October 2, 2009

Blogging At 2 AM


A famous Rhode Island blogger once suggested that drunk naked blogging is a bad idea.

He's probably right - it sounds like he was speaking from experience - but I can neither confirm nor refute his theory. It sure sounds like it would be fun to try though, under properly controlled laboratory conditions.

But I think I've discovering a follow-up to the theory, which, quite modestly, I call the O Dock Corollary:

Blogging at 2 am, even if not drunk or naked, is a bad idea.

Well, OK, for me at least. Does this happen to you, too?

I tend to be something of a night person. I stay up much later than I should, wandering the internets, reading blogs, and stirring up mischief.

But I think I sometimes drift into a curious corner of the space-time-jelly donut continuum. Time seems to be behaving itself, but it's the words that are expanding and contracting. I find that things that sound profound to me at 2 am often sound profane in the glaring light of day.

I'll post something, congratulating myself on some lyrical legerdemain, and then drift off to sleep.

Then I read it the next morning, sobered by sunlight, and cough up my morning coffee. Yack! I wrote that? Sometimes, I make a mad dash for that little trashcan icon that erases my mistyping, hoping no one's actually read it yet.

Before, I could get away with this, since I was just posting a comment somewhere, and who reads comments pages, anyway?

But now that I'm rolling my own blogstuff, there's absolutely no place to hide. Feedburner has efficiently transported my words to both of my readers and the odds are good that at least one of them has a friend who has a friend who knows a good libel lawyer.

So I think I'm implementing a pier review process (uh, we're on O Dock, remember?).

Henceforth, nothing goes out at 2 am that hasn't first gone through the copy desk during daylight hours.

Why am I boring you with this? Well, I'd like to know - is it me, or does this happen to you, too?



  1. Oh, yeah, it happens to me too ... and since I'm in a time zone an hour earlier than yours, well, I'm an hour deeper into nonsense.

  2. I have a very similar problem - will post on v. v. soon

  3. So you're the guy with all of the 'post deleted by author' comments.

    Note that I'm posting this bad boy legerdemainy doohickey @3a and I'm feeling pretty damn proud o'myself

  4. Why is there more than one blank line at the bottom of this post?

  5. Was this post intentionally left blank?

  6. I'm sorry Carol Anne, I don't want to be anal about this, but you are making my point for me.

    I'm reasonably certain that New Mexico is a time zone later than California, not earlier. I know you are a careful proofreader, so it must be the 2 AM shift in the space-time-jelly donut continuum that is causing this distortion in your truthiness.

  7. Greg, I won't ask what you're doing up at 3 am. I do hope you're not feeling seasick again.

    And Tillerman, there is more than one blank line at the end of this post because there is more than one blank line at the beginning. I'm sure Zen knows more than I do about why that must be so.

  8. This earlier/later thing with time zones always confuses the hell out of me too.

    The sun does reach New Mexico earlier than it reaches California, but that makes it later in New Mexico than California! So is New Mexico earlier or later?

    And then when people say things like "Sydney is 10 hours behind New York" I get really confused. Does "ahead" on the clock mean earlier or later? I could argue either way. But maybe they are talking about "ahead" on the globe?
    This line intentionally right blank.

  9. to Maintain harmony in the universal formlessness...


    a shift in the space-time-jelly donut continuum would turn to cream filled...

    jheeze everyone knows that, stop pulling people's leg O-D!

  10. I have this time difference thing pretty much figured out in my head - and it took me about 30 years to get it straight - so I'm not going to get myself all crossed up again by attempting to answer you.

    The one thing that really confuses me is the International Date Line. I gave up trying to figure that out years ago.

    I think that is the line you left intentionally blank.

  11. I don't worry about the International Date Line. I have crossed it many times. It doesn't hurt at all.

    Every time I crossed it I had to be confined in a long metal tube for about 15 hours between two contraptions laughingly known as seats which were cunningly positioned so that the front of mine was exactly 2 inches less than the length of my femur from the back of the one in front and I was forced to eat the same meal three times in a row because according to the staff it was always dinner time which meant that one year I ate three consecutive Thanksgiving dinners in the approximate longitudes of San Francisco, Bora Bora and Fiji and they all tasted like they had been made in Burger King about 3 days before, and I was forced to watch 3 movies, the second and third before I had sobered up properly from getting drunk during the first because it was so boring, and I think that's why the IDL didn't hurt...

  12. After a sentence that long, I would have expected to see a line left intentionally blank.

  13. I'm confused again by all you smart guys. Now is always now until it's not now, so even though I am typing this now, it's now, not now. Can someone get me a sake with that jelly donut? It doesn't have to be now.

  14. don't forget there is now, not now and right now and then there is how now!

  15. I can't get you a Sake now, Joe, but how about not now?

  16. Faulknerian sentences amidst a furious sound of time zone explainin'? This here's a regular party, Dr. O'Docker.

    I recall the first time I crossed the IDL, back in '86. Captain Matheny came on the 1MC and said, "We crossed the International Dateline a little after thirteen-hundred this afternoon. Those of you on the main deck at the time, might have seen it."

  17. Greg, that's the thing I find confusing about the IDL.

    Shouldn't Captain Matheny have said, "We crossed the IDL about 1300 yesterday afternoon?" Or, "We crossed the IDL at 1300 tomorrow afternoon."

    That stuff makes my head hurt the same way it does when I try to think about the concept of infinite space. If you get to the end of space and there's a jelly donut there, what happens to the continuum if you eat it?

  18. albert einstein10/3/09, 5:37 AM

    The only reason for time is so that everything doesn't happen at once.

    Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.

    This line intentionally left infinite

  19. Albert, thanks for taking time out of your busy schedule to visit O Dock.

    Or, did you take space out of your busy schedule?

  20. So many people think that mañana means "tomorrow." It doesn't. It just means "not today."

    So please don't say mañana if you don't mean it ...

  21. Happens to me when I awake at 03:00 and try to use the internets tubes to lull me back to sleep.

    As for the IDL, K and I have stood where it passes through Taveuni Island, Fiji. Very confusing. Did we have one foot in today and the other in tomorrow? Or was it one foot in yesterday and the other in today?

    word verification definition: caturv: 1) what do you call a curved part of a cat? 2) an Indonesian Chess move.

  22. Panda (pardon me if I abbreviate):

    Everyone tells me I have one foot in yesterday.

  23. Now we know why Carol Anne usually sticks with Jimmy Buffet chronology: It's always five o'clock somewhere.

    That one goes well with my first principal of navigation:
    Wherever you go,
    there you are.