December 8, 2010

hi its arnold


o docker has left the keyboard quiet this past week

he was muttering something about how busy his work is the last time i caught a glimpse of him

if i squat down between the q and w keys i can keep an eye on him without his noticing

i am arnold the cockroach and i have just been figuring out how this interblog stuff works

he never logs out of the blog program so i am able to post to his blog when he is is not around

though this is my first try

i come from a long line of cockroaches

we tend to have large families

but my own family has mainly lived in newspaper buildings and it is in just such a building that o docker works

my great great uncle archy became somewhat famous by hanging out in the keyboard of an old typewriter owned by a newspaper columnist

its an old cockroach joke that archy succeeded in the world of letters

get it

computer keyboards are a lot easier for a cockroach to work than those old manual typewriters were

the jumping from key to key is less strenuous and less perilous and i can even type capitals with the caps lock key LIKE THIS but that still takes an extra two jumps so i dont do it too often

i pretty much dont bother with punctuation either

what a waste of jumps

but the absolute best thing about computer keyboards is how much warmer they are at night

and of course the food is better too

no one ever gets down here to clean out the crumbs

especially o docker

anyway i thought i would jump in here while o docker is away

sorry thats more cockroach humor

i was thinking you might want to know more about him while hes not around

he thinks hes so damned clever most of the time but mainly he drives the cockroaches around here nuts

maybe people are actually different than cockroaches that way

but i dont think so

uh oh here comes the cleaning crew

if they spot me its big trouble for my whole family




  1. no cats around here bonnie

    sometimes i hang with the mice at the vending machines

    the vending machines are for us what people would call shopping malls

    you can get anything you want all in one place and theyre climate controlled

    in the summer we stroll the racks of the soda and water machines just to stay cool

    i guess i never will understand people spending all of that money on water

    thanks for replying

    i didnt think anyone would answer a cockroach

  2. Imagine how many times you've gotten a soda from a machine and didn't wipe off the top of the can!

  3. Arnold, I'm actually a big fan of your great great uncle Archy's work. Hope you can sneak in some more blog time yourself (although it does make me sad to hear that O-Docker is too).

  4. baydog we get such a bad rap about this germ thing

    that shows you what happens when one species controls the media

    just because we dont look like people they invent all sorts of awful untruths about us

    my great great uncle archy was something of a poet but he was also an early defender of cockroach rights

    but he did that in a peaceful way

    he tried to help people understand cockroaches and that we have a place here on earth too

    if i can get some more keyboard time i may do more blog posts bonnie

  5. Arnold, I think you need a buddy. A beard, if you will, to divert attention from yourself and avoid the prejudicial, reflexive reaction (as in thumping with a rolled newspaper, of all things) that your species engenders.

    Your great, great uncle had his cat-pal Mehitabel, as Bonnie recalls.

    Perhaps one of the mice would be game?

  6. a neighborly rodent*12/9/10, 1:12 PM

    Arnold, why are you messing around with that old keyboard? It's going the way of the newspaper (only read by old farts). It's about the tablets now, dude.

    Get onto his iPad and you'll be skatin' all over that thing. No issues with punctuation or caps either!

    Otherwise, you're gonna wear yourself out faster than a one-legged human at an ass-kickin' contest.

    * name withheld as I'm in the witness protection program

  7. mojo i see that you grasp the great irony of my situation

    both my famous relative and myself have sought shelter where the instrument of so much cockroach persecution is produced every night

    i shudder whenever the presses roll


    but while newspaper people may be people i have found a home here because some of them have become champions of the persecuted

    and that could be because lately a lot of newspaper people are eating no better than we cockroaches do

    neighborly i have big problems with the new touchscreens

    they may be great for typing but they offer no shelter underneath whatsoever and that is the main purpose for a keyboard to my way of thinking

    and theyre practically useless for collecting crumbs

    what would i eat

  8. Which paper did you say O Docker works for?

  9. I smell a rat here.

    In disparaging newspapers (which, given that I read them daily, makes me an "old fart"), Mr. Rodent demonstrates his brash ignorance of the newspaper's efficient visual transference-- both text and images (for which we thank you O Docker).

  10. a neighborly rodent12/9/10, 5:19 PM

    Arnold - I see your point, little guy. Wouldn't want you to throw off the feed bag. Guess that's one inedible apple (heh,heh). And it wouldn't be pretty to see you thumped on the glass.

    Speaking of persecution, I share your pain: we of the species with long, stringy tails.

    How hurtful are comments like "I smell a rat?"

    ... or, "like rats off a ship"... this is a sailing blog, right???

    Don't even ask why I'm in the witness protection program... you guessed it, I "ratted someone out".

    The release of Willard (1971) marked a real low point for us. Only since Ratatouille have we started to work our way back from pariah status.

  11. We usually see archy at the Rio Grande Sailing Club Christmas party, but he was a no-show this year. If you see him, arnold, give him my regards.

    VW: expeeity ... not sure what that's supposed to mean.

  12. im afraid uncle archy passed many years ago carol anne

    a cleaning lady flicked the lights on unexpectedly one night then freaked and went after him with her shoe

    uncle wasnt as quick as he had been in his younger days

    thankfully the end came quickly

    yours is an honest mistake though

    archie achieved such fame that many cockroaches began imitating him

    they affected his mannerisms speech and even the way he carried himself

    he had a distinctive way of lurching across a floor or tabletop

    stop and go and stop and go

    he used to tell people that he was savoring the moment but he was probably just catching his breath

    in the end i think that was his undoing

    sometimes you seize the moment

    sometimes the moment seizes you

  13. Conversations with Arnold, a neighborly rodent and now Robbie over on Proper Course...

    ... am I dreaming or something?

  14. a neighborly rodent12/14/10, 8:22 PM

    what did you expect, Mojo?... Oz

  15. Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain!

  16. "hi" to Mehitable!
    Glue. How your uncle would wax on about the glue.