July 9, 2010

You Are What You Drink


Tillerman has posted about a recent night of Laser racing and the more eventful aftermath of Laser racing at his local watering hole.

He mentions his choice of personal lubricant for the evening - Long Trail Ale - a regional ale I wasn't yet familiar with. Since I'm naturally curious about worldly things, I asked Mr. Google what he could tell me about Long Trail Ale and I clicked on a web page that turned out to be one of those snooty know-it-all beer connoisseur sites.

Holy crap!

Those people are worse than the wine nuts with their oaky fruity pear and plum overtones and their noses and their finishes. Can't they just drink a brew and quietly burp like the rest of us? Do they have to interpret a beer as if it were a Jackson Pollack painting? If you like the beer, give it five stars and order another. If not, give it two stars and let it go at that.

Why must you be obsessed with how long it took the somewhat moderate but not overly frothy head to settle back to three-quarters of an inch? Why would you study the pattern the foam makes on the side of a beerglass? Why must you invent more jargon to describe a simple glass of beer than phrenologists have for the bumps on your head?

While looking for the lowdown on Long Trail Ale, I had to endure descriptions like this:

 "It's slightly sweet, but not overbearing or cloying at all"


Who the freak worries about whether his beer is cloying or not?

I think someone who uses words like 'cloying' probably should not be drinking beer at all.

I read on through a dozen or more of these very serious reviews of Tillerman's beer, and then it hit me. They could just as easily have been describing Tillerman's blog. See for yourself:


- a light to moderate touch of floral and earthy...

- a crisp edge to it. It's refreshing.

- anytime, anywhere, any season, any occasion. ... there's a lot of flavor here.

- There's nothing in your face about it, but the balance ... is spot on perfect.

- Quirky enough to be unique...

- leaves you satisfied and wanting more


So, can you judge a man or his blog from his beer? Has Tillerman become what he drinks? Has his beer made his blog what it is today? Is that his secret?

Tillerman - the blogger that made Tiverton famous.



  1. good stuff, OD. I can't say I've ever thought about describing beer like you've hinted at above. my pre-req's have always been simple:

    free is best, cold is a must, and my taste is straight and simple American-style lagers

    cheers, my2fish

  2. Schaefer is the one beer to have when you're having more than one.

  3. Schaefer ish more beers woo hoo when you happen way more than one.

  4. Ever tried Carling Black Label Light?

  5. Yes, and I maintain, Schaefer.....

  6. One of my great disappointments in life has been that I have a limited tolerance for alcohol.

    Actually, I'm very tolerant of it - I even encourage it. My problems begin only when I start to drink it. It seems to have an almost immediate effect on my inertial guidance system. I have difficulty successfully guiding a glass or bottle anywhere near my face long before I can get properly drunk.

    With such a shortcoming, I can't afford to waste valuable opportunities on alcohol with limited entertainment value. I am perpetually like a condemned man eating his last meal.

    For me, drinking lite beer would be like ordering a final meal of pop tarts.

  7. I have discovered that one of the benefits of growing older is that my tolerance to alcohol has reduced. This means that I can go out to lunch and drink a couple of glasses of an American microbrew beer and achieve roughly the same effect as I could by drinking six pints of English real ale when I was in college.

    Drinking lite beer would be like kissing your sister.

  8. I don't know who it was you were kissing, but she wasn't being totally honest with you.

    I don't have a sister.