April 1, 2010

I'm Moving To Rhode Island


Am I strange?

My last post was about sleeping below on my boat instead of sailing. Only someone who is strange would post something like that. What's wrong with me?

I used to go sailing every chance I got. Now I just mope about on my boat inventing excuses to not go sailing. It must be this cushy cruising boat I've got and this mild California weather. I'm getting soft.

First, my boat is too comfortable. I have a galley with hot and cold running water, a gas cooktop, a microwave oven, a toaster, a coffee grinder, and a fridge. We always keep the wine locker stocked with several bottles of our favorite vintages. I have comfortable berths to sleep in, and a comfortable head to, well, our boat has a comfortable head.

Second, the weather here is too comfortable. The average daily high temperature in January is 58 degrees; in August, a blistering 69 degrees. From May through October, it never rains. It's too easy to just loll about on the boat, secure in the knowledge that the weather will always be good for sailing.

So where was I? Who am I?

Oh right, I was analyzing why I never go sailing anymore. Whenever I feel there is a problem, I always analyze the situation and then come up with a plan to solve the problem. If it's a problem with more than two variables, I'll usually put the data in a spreadsheet. Sometimes, I'll run the numbers and put the results in graphical form. If it's a more esoteric problem, I may even create Venn diagrams. But this is a fairly simple problem. If my boat is too comfortable and the weather too nice to encourage me to sail more, I should just change those things.

First, the weather. If I were in constant fear of the weather changing for the worse, I'd seize a good sailing day and force myself out the door and onto the boat. I need to move somewhere where the weather is generally too cold in the winter and too hot and humid in the summer, but somewhere where there's plenty of open water to sail on. I'm thinking Rhode Island.

Then, I need a simple, barebones boat without all of those cushy frills. I need a boat that is tricky to sail, that will give me a good physical workout, and, hopefully, one with an uncomfortable cockpit. No pain, no gain. There are several that fill the bill, but a Laser would be perfect. There are always plenty of them on the market because many sailors are wusses like I've been and just want to be comfortable when they sail.

So, that's it. Here is my bullet-pointed action plan for getting back into an active sailing regimen:

- Move to Rhode Island

- Buy a Laser

Am I strange?



  1. "Strange" is why I read this blog.
    I would characterize moving from the Bay Area to Rhode Island and buying a Laser more as "insane".

    See your therapist, update your prescriptions. Then take a nice nap on your settee and dream about sailing. ;^)

  2. Rather than taking such drastic measures, enlist your spouse for assistance.

    Place upon a desk or table or other such horizontal surface as is in front of you, a large stack of English essays to be graded.

    Ask yourself, "Would I rather be grading these essays, or would I rather be sailing?" If your conscience still insists that the essays be graded, well, you're on a boat with a settee you can sit upon and a table that can be hinged down into place in front of the settee. You and your spouse can trade off time grading essays and sailing the boat.

    Oh, and if the spouse insists that she can't delegate the essay grading to you, well, then you're giving her a peaceful and undisturbed environment in which to do that grading. If she's in a good mood, then she's likely to grade the essays cheerfully, and her students will benefit from that, too.

  3. It maybe too crowded in RI, with other strange laser sailors. I've never been there or seen this, but there are rumors on the internet of laser-heads in RI

    word verification : aspacto= someone who moved from the CA to RI to sail

  4. No. no. guys! True sailing is not about being comfortable. That's for wusses.

    I need more terror in my life. I need to get out there in the wet and the cold, to taste the sea's raw, savage power firsthand.

    I need to fight my way through every reach, hiked out hard, my abs burning. I need to face every jibe hanging on the edge, not knowing if I'll still be in the boat when it's over.

    I'm getting back to real sailing. I'm going for the gusto. I'm moving to Rhode Island!

  5. This post should have Frank Zappa's moving to Montana as background music.

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  7. Ohhh ok, I get it Terror and adventure. Here is a test to see if you are ready for RI.

    Borrow a Laser and sail out of the gate to the Farallones and back...

    That will tell if your ready!

    Word verification: weefoo! sound of someone trying to get back in their laser with a shark fin in sight

  8. Can I have your boat when you move? I like the idea of hot and cold running water. All I have is the bottled stuff. What's a microwave?.......do you really have a boat or a motorhome?

  9. That's what I'm talkin' about, Joe.

    This boat is just too cushy. It's turned me into a marshmallow.

    Do you know that in Rhode Island real men put icecubes inside their drysuits if it gets above forty degrees? Damn, that's real sailing, Joe!

  10. A microwave? O ver the top, O Docker. Fold up the blanket. Nap time is over. Come get your cookies and milk, and then we go out to sail. No need to move to RI. You'd have to call Bonnie to see if she could find you a used kayak just to navigate the streets up there these days.

  11. Well, you can give me the boat provided you install an electric-flush head, bow thruster, wine racks....

    Seriously, I hear that if you want really nasty, savage, rough weather, you should move your boat down the coast to Mission Bay. Why the conditions are so brutal off the coast there that they have several days a year when the giant catamaran Alinghi wouldn't race.

  12. Either you're confusing cats with dog-zillas, Pat, or I'm very confused, which is usually the case.

  13. Don't mention anything about this around Mr. Tillerman, but you know, Rhode Island is really an asylum where the rest of the country keeps the Laser sailor wackos. It's been that way since 1636 when Roger Williams was kicked out of Massachusetts for his Laser sailing religious beliefs. He started the Laser cult in RI which exists to this day.