I think I'm starting to get this blogging thing worked out.
But, so far, two things have absolutely baffled me.
The first is this photo I posted as part of a Support Your Local Rivers post:
I haven't posted too many photos so far, but this is probably the least remarkable of them all. It's an image I swiped from someone's web site, just like anyone else could. And, keep in mind (this is important - it will be on the test at the end of this post), I found it by searching for 'Levi's logo'.
What I can't figure out is why I am getting hits from all over the world for this Levi's logo. No hits from the good ol' U S of A, mind you, but from Mexico, Asia, South America, and Europe. And practically every day. Over and over. If I were anal retentive like some bloggers are, I'd probably put all of the numbers in a spreadsheet and figure out what percentage of my total hits are a result of the Levi's logo. They must be adding up.
Am I being used by those cartels that make all of that knockoff stuff - you know, Rolex watches for $19.99 and Levi's jeans for $8.99?
The weird thing is that I've tried finding this photo on my blog by doing every Google search I could think of:
- Levi's
- Levi Strauss
- Levi's logo
- Hot babes in Levi's
- Hot babes not wearing jeans
Well, OK, I wanted to be thorough in my research. But zip, nada, nothing. I have no idea how all of these people are finding this photo on my blog. And I don't have a good feeling about it at all.
Are the feds going to show up at 3 am and confiscate my laptop? And how do I tell them it's all Tillerman's fault? He's the one who got me into this blogging thing.
Of course, I may have discovered the magic bullet for drawing traffic to a blog. Maybe you just need to post photos of corporate logos and the world will click a path to your door. That would be a lot easier than actually having to write stuff.
The other thing I can't figure out is the guy or gal in the Bahamas who keeps visiting this blog - apparently to actually read the blog and not just download the Levi's logo. If I were in the Bahamas, there's no way I'd be wasting time reading this blog.
I mean, I'm trying to picture how this would work. You're lying on some pristine, white, sandy beach, which is being gently lapped by wavelets of 80-degree turquoise water, your bikini-clad companion by your side. Rainbow-colored fish are playing in the shallows just waiting for you and your bikini-clad companion to snorkel over and join them. The ice in your rum drink crackles as it slowly melts.
And you get up, brush that pristine, white sand off your shorts, walk back through the baking sun to wherever you keep your laptop, and fire it up to read some cockamamie blog that's pretending to be about sailing in San Francisco Bay?
Mr. or Ms. Bahama, if you're reading this, please leave a comment here and explain how this could be. And if you have a boat there, I'd be perfectly willing to swap with you for a few months or a few years, if you find O Dock to be such an exotic, desireable locale.
There are some mysteries in life that I think are just not meant to be solved.
.
Allo, meester dock of the oh. I am the mystery man of which you are doing the worry. I want you to know that I am, rather ironically, I believe you call them, jailed in Freeport.
ReplyDeleteYou see, I was living the high-life in St. Martin, when the francs, the moneys, they began to run away from me, how you say? So, my so-called frere, mon friend, he says, "Not to worry, Lucky Pierre! (that is my name, but you will see it is not so accurate at this time) I have the plan to get the moneys to come back to us like the choufleur comes from the ground in the spring!"
I should know not to listen to this man when he says this things. But I do not. Instead, I sail the boat to Bahamas, as he asks, "A simple delivery, Pierre!"
How was I to know the boats were loaded with the coca! I don't know, but Bahamas Surete, they knows! And now, I'm stuck in Freeport for some times.
I am not having the bikini-clad companions, of which you seem to dream and google about so much. In fact, I am having the corpulent cellie as my companion. And god forbid they serve the jerk chicken for dinner. These fat cellie man will be having the wind all night and it is not the kind for sailing and certainly NOT the kind for smelling either.
So, you see, dock of the oh-man, I am not so much looking at your postings of blogs because I am thinking how much better your pretend sailing life is than mine. In fact, I am making the blog reading of you because I have things very bad (and very smelly each Friday night, as you may recall [curses on you, the jerk chicken]), but rather I am doing the blog of you because it makes me see that there is the having of a life that is much worse than being in the jail in the Freeport.
Laissez les bon temps roulet!
Lucky, or perhaps unlucky, Pierre, thanks so much for clearing up at least one mystery for me.
ReplyDeleteAnd, for explaining that not all of the winds that blow through the Caribbean are the tradewinds.
It's curious, but the last time I heard anyone speak of the chou-fleur, it was someone named Nathalie with an H. I wonder if you know her? Ah, how she played me for the fool, Pierre, leading me on to answer her in French. How easily women make fools of us, Pierre.
One thing seems better for you than for prisoners in the US, Pierre, and that is your access to a computer and the internet.
Hope it isn't too long before les bons temps once again rouler for you.
My blog is now one of the top results for people seeking information about swine flu with a lingering cough. I even get visitors from the CDC. Thanks to the pandemic, my hit counter is way up.
ReplyDeleteWell I can't really solve your mysteries except by offering a few random observations...
ReplyDeleteI am constantly surprised by how many hits I receive from Google Image searches. Especially as most of the images on my blog are just stolen from other websites too.
I wonder if your mystery man from the Bahamas is the writer of sailfast13.com. He has been hanging around my site lately and maybe he has accidentally followed some links to yours. Teenagers today really don't have anything better to do.
NO comment!
ReplyDeleteCarol Anne, I hope your hits stay up but your temperature down.
ReplyDeleteTillerman, maybe you're right about Sailfast13. I just checked his blog and it seems like his busy schedule doesn't allow much beach time. But, having gone to high school in Philadelphia winters, I have a hard time working up much sympathy for him.
Ok, O'docker, check your recent hit trace - should be an interesting one there.
ReplyDeleteYou're in Azerbaijan, JP?
ReplyDeleteDon't tell me you've been downloading the Levi's logo on all of your business trips.
May have something to do with French anthropologist Claude Levi-Strauss passing away today or yesterday (not sure exactly due to time zones). Lots of people searching for "Levi-Strauss" as a result.
ReplyDeleteThe mystery man in Azerbaijan stopped by my blog too! Is there some way we can collect these hits, like stamp collecting, in an album? Then we could do swaps. I'll swap you a bored Sunfish sailor in the Bahamas for a very tired canoeist in Baku Baki.
ReplyDeleteSiz ingilizca nisirsinizmi?
ReplyDeleteJP, no time right now to unscramble another anagram.
ReplyDeleteTillerman, no deal, I'm keeping the tired canoeist from Baku Baki. I just like saying 'Baku Baki'.
Panda, good point that connections on the internet could come from the most unlikely of sources, but I reject this theory because there could not possibly be any connection between this blog and someone who got his doctorate from the Sorbonne.
I'll swap you a Gteborg Vastra Gotaland and a Burscheid Nordrhein-Westfalen for a Tallinn Harjumaa.
ReplyDeleteBored, I've actually been to Oshkosh.
ReplyDeleteNo one talks like that there.
Bored,
ReplyDeleteI know Oshkosh
I've been to Oshkosh
Some of my best friends are Oshkoshians
Bored, you're no Oshkoshian.
"God created woman. And boredom did indeed cease from that moment. . ."
ReplyDeleteFriedrich Nietzsche
Need I say more?
This just in from the O Dock archivist...
ReplyDeleteKlove Hitch's comment has been verified as an actual Nietzsche quote. So, it's official, I am now a REAL blogger. Commenters are leaving quotes from Nietzsche on my comments page.
"Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent."
ReplyDeleteFreddy, thanks for stopping by O Dock and further verifying my status as a real blogger.
ReplyDeleteYour opinions of women are famous. I should disclose, however, that I know Klove Hitch to be one of these women to whom you allude.
"I just like saying 'Baku Baki'"
ReplyDeleteHmmm, "Baka" , means fool, idiot in Japanese...
just to add my two yin in this non-sail discussion.
> <
The above space ^ intentionally left blank.
Have a nice day!
O Docker said "there could not possibly be any connection between this blog and someone who got his doctorate from the Sorbonne"
ReplyDeletePoint well taken. ;^)
Sign up for Stat Counter - http://www.statcounter.com/ - it's free and will give you very detailed information about your traffic. If they found your blog via search engine, you can even see what words they used.
Say, Levi's has a line of pants called "Dockers"...
It could be worse. At least all the visitors aren't arriving on a search for "tail docking".
ReplyDeleteOr you don't have a discussion about "rail meat" bringing you visitors who want to talk about meat processing hygiene standards.
Panda, I think you have solved the mystery of the Levi's logo.
ReplyDeleteOf course, I know how Levi's stole my name for their line of casual slacks. I'm not happy about it, but neither am I bitter. I'm just not the sort to hold a grudge.
But this gave me the idea to try searching for 'Levi's dockers' on Google. Still nothing. But aha! Suppose I lived in a country where English is not the native language. I might forget about the 's' on the end and search for just 'Levi's docker'.
Bingo!
On just the sixth page down, there is the link to my blog. Now I can sleep soundly knowing the answer to another of life's riddles. Or, at least until the feds start banging on my door.
Congrats!!
ReplyDeletePeace again in the realm of O-Dock