Blog readers can be so picky.
For my last post, I got up at the crack of dawn to take some photos of the crack of dawn.
Then, I came up with this brilliant extended metaphor comparing the mood on the docks at dawn with being in a cathedral - the first time such an analogy has been drawn in the history of Western literature.
Some readers liked the photos, but the big noise in the comments page was about absolutely nothing. It wasn't about anything I'd written or photographed. It was about the empty line I'd left at the beginning of the post. I've been doing this at the beginning of every post I've written since I started this blog a month ago.
Some were concerned about the mechanics of how I'd even managed this in blogging software that tries to thwart every attempt to leave unused blankness.
Others wondered about the mysterious implications of such a subtle subterfuge - much like the pimply faced cohorts of my adolescence wondered about the significance of those little stars on the cover of Playboy magazine. Did each empty line denote some sort of nautical conquest for O Docker?
Hmm, maybe I'll let the mystery linger on.
Tillerman, whose recent blank post caused quite a stir, seemed especially intrigued by the groundbreaking work I'm doing in recurring nothingness.
Before I started this blog, I was getting some notoriety for what I wasn't doing - namely writing a blog. In fact, I thought I was damned good at not writing a blog. Some of those posts I never wrote have stood the test of time very well. To this day, no one reads them.
Maybe there's a message here for me. Maybe the less I write, the better this blog will be. I've been thinking of writing a post composed entirely of punctuation marks, with no words at all.
Who knows where this might lead? Once established as a minimalist blogger, I could probably land a book deal - a substantial advance from a major publisher for promising never to write any short stories or novels. And the empty sky's the limit.
I'm getting a great idea for a TV sitcom.